There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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