sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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