8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
