Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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