return my video game
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
