U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
