just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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