i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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