Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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