i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
