btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
