is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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