Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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