sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
