Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
the day after is always just damage control
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize