Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
