Are we in a gay sports bar?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
