It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
