8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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