Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
