just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
NoShamevember. You game?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
