You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Everything about him screamed your future.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
