I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
