Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
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Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
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think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.