I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?