how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
