He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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