dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
