Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize