? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
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After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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