We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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