i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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