can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Randomize
