Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
