A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
