talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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