I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
