i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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