You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
