First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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