maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
