just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
