party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
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the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
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After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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