Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
