I need to stop coming to work sober
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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