She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
