I skipped work to stalk him.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
