thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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