I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
