You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
