we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
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