i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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