we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
