Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
