How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
