Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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