i need an iv and a liver transplant
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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