awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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