You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
