At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
