dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
