Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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