I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
